


A Wilson Wedding

by bigduckenergy



Category: At The Mountains of Dadness, Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29773398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigduckenergy/pseuds/bigduckenergy
Summary: Robert and Sally get married! The reception's a little weird though.
Relationships: Robert Wilson/Sally Wilson, it wasnt intentional but you might be able to get some stud/meryl implications
Kudos: 5





	A Wilson Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> please note that i have never been to a catholic wedding, and i have especially never been to a 1930s catholic wedding, so i dont rlly know how those work lol

“Now remember Willy,” Stud said. “Hands to yourself and stay where I can see you. Then we’ll go fishing tomorrow. Deal?”   
  


Willy looked slightly more sinister in his little tux- the same one he wore to his father’s funeral. He glared.

“We ain’t going in till I hear it from you,”

“Fine,” Willy spat.

In the small church were around thirty other people that Stud didn’t recognize. He could’ve sworn Hildy and Meryl had promised to be there too.

The ceremony began solemnly, with everyone standing. Stud looked around to make sure he was doing what he was supposed to.

Robert took his place at the stand looking like he was about to explode with anxiety. Stud tried giving him a thumbs up but Willy smacked his arm down before he could embarrass them both.

Then Sally entered, wearing a simple white dress and a  _ real _ lace veil. He nearly forgot how much money they had.

“Oh,” Stud gasped, already tearing up.  “It’s like I’ve known them for a lifetime,” He whispered.

Willy gave him a dangerous look that clearly said “For the love of God be fucking normal”.

The woman next to them seemed to agree with Willy.

The next hour or so was long and confusing. They sat down and then they stood up and sang a song out of a pamphlet then sat down again and listened to a priest. Stud enjoyed himself the best he could.

He cried hard during the vows and watched the couple leave the church arm-in-arm.

“Alright let’s go,” Willy said once people started to head out.

“Aren’t we gonna take a photograph?”

Willy groaned.

“You don’t have to be in it!” Stud said.

The camera was old and fancy, so they all had to stand as still as possible for about a minute. Stud ended up at the end of the lineup, with Willy standing out of frame glaring daggers at him.

Once hugs and handshakes were given by the family, Robert and Sally left in a black car.

He hadn’t even got to talk to Robert yet.

“I know I said we wasn’t going to the party-,” Stud was cut off before he could finish.

“Bring me home. Now.” Willy demanded, arms crossed. 

“Y’know people keep telling me I shouldn’t be leaving you at the house by yourself…”

The options were clear: Bring Willy with him to the party and face his wrath, leave Willy at home and risk coming back to another dead animal or a pile of ashes, OR just not go to the party and miss out on getting back in touch with the first and only friends he’d made in California.    
  


Well, the house and his friendships were really the only things he had left to lose now.

“Who knows, maybe you’ll have fun,” Stud attempted a reassuring smile.

Willy’s expression didn’t change, but he followed him to the car anyway.

He still couldn’t comprehend why that kid had so much rage inside of him.  _ He  _ was never that miserable as a boy.

Carl must’ve been a bad influence.

The wedding party took place in a tall brick building. The decorations were minimal, but the cake was absolutely  _ gorgeous _ . Stud couldn’t stop himself from gasping loudly and running over to it.   
  


“Wow, Willy. Doesn’t it look like a pretty carousel?” He said breathlessly. “You know, you gotta appreciate seeing the little things-.”

Except Willy wasn’t there when he turned to look at him. Stud did a double take. Still nowhere to be found.

“Oh no,”

Luckily he got there early, so the only other people were the bride, groom, and another woman all sitting at the bar.

“Robbie!” He called through cupped hands.

Both women turned around and a familiar face grinned. Robert waved him over.

“Christ, Hildy, it’s been forever,” Stud forgot about Willy momentarily.

She grabbed his arm and motioned to Sally.

“I was just telling Sal here about a charity dance marathon for a local high school,” She said. “And I had a feeling you were just the guy to invite,”

“Woah, for charity, huh?” Stud thought about that.

Hopefully it wasn’t during work, but even if it wasn’t he’d still have to leave Willy…

“Damn it!,” He exclaimed. “Willy!”

The other three looked at him with varying levels of confusion and concern. He shook it off.

“I don’t think we’ve met, Sally,” He stuck a hand out to her. She chuckled nervously and shook it.

“What about Willy?” Hildy asked, leaning forward curiously.

Stud sighed.

“I brought the kid with me and now he’s missing,”

“Oh-h boy, that can’t be good,” Robert began massaging his temples.

“Willy’s my nephew- well, now he’s kind of my son. My brother Carl died pretty recently- too much drinking y’know? Always had a bottle down his throat,” He explained to Sally.

“And I’ve got reason to believe he’s the San Dimas Cat Strangler,” Hildy said.

She stood up from her seat and grabbed her bag.

“Stud, stay here. I’ve got a case to crack,” She turned to the couple. “Congratulations you two, be sure to look out for my present in the mail,”

“It was really nice meeting you,” Sally said to her, looking a little smitten.

Hildy gave her and Robert quick hugs and rushed out the building, the click of her heels echoing with determination.

Robert raised his eyebrows as he glanced at Sally.

“Um, yeah, so that’s Hildy-,”

The doors burst open. Sally and Stud gasped in sync.

“MERYL  _ STREEP _ ?” She screamed. Then clasped a hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

He struck a pose.

“That’s a lot,” Robert laughed.

Some more guests streamed in behind Meryl, looking at him with awe. He began pulling out signed headshots and handing them out to people, whether they wanted them or not.

“Honey, I told you he’d be coming” Robert said with amusement.

She stared with her mouth agape.

“I  _ know _ that, but it doesn’t make it any less crazy,”

This time it was Sally waving Meryl over. He sauntered to the bar.

“You must be Sally Wilson,” He took her hand.

“Sally  _ Wilson _ ,” She patted Robert’s chest excitedly.

“Mr. Streep-,”

Stud was just about to level him with compliments, when Hildy came running back in, threw her arms around Meryl for a brief moment, and grabbed the flask she left on the bar.

“I haven’t found him yet, Stud, just needed this,”

She ran out once again.

“Nice seeing her for a change,” Meryl rolled his eyes.

Eventually the band showed up and everyone got themselves properly seated, the bride and groom being closest to the stage. Meryl and Stud sat at the table right next to them, while Sally’s parents sat on their left.

“I can get you a plate of food, sir,” Stud offered.

“Hm,” Meryl shifted in his seat. “Why don’t we each get our own food?”

“Oh, well I wasn’t thinking you would share it with me,”

“I meant let’s get up together and serve ourselves,”

That did make more sense.

At the food table Meryl’s hands shook as he piled salad onto his plate. Stud quit admiring the cake again to notice this, as he tended to be better at noticing things nowadays.

“Are you feeling alright, Mr. Streep?” 

“We’re friends right?” Meryl asked, suddenly.

“I- I mean, I should hope so,” He stuttered out, white knuckles clutching the plate.

Being friends with  _ THE  _ Meryl Streep. Wow. Stud had a feeling that as a celebrity, he had to hold people at arms length, so hearing him say that was the most incredible moment of his life.

Well, maybe besides having his eyes magically restored and banishing a deity all on his own.

But either way, when they first met he wouldn’t have even given Stud the time of day.

Meryl dabbed at his forehead with a handkerchief.

“I need to have a word with you.”

They ate dinner alongside everyone else and stayed in time to watch the couple cut that pretty cake. Afterwards, Meryl cued for him to meet him outside.

The sky was orange and purple. Stud appreciated this as Meryl lit up a cigarette.

“I’ve got a kid now,” Meryl said, staring off into the distance.

“On accident?” Stud couldn’t remember him saying anything about a girl in his life.

“On accident,” He nodded. “She wants me to help her out with it,”

“You want advice or something?” Stud asked softly.

He probably wasn’t the best person to get parenting advice from. 

Meryl shrugged and shook his head.

  
“I needed to tell somebody eventually,” He said. “I had a feeling you wouldn’t be the one to blab about it. I really don’t need this getting public,”

“Oh yeah, your career, huh,”

“Exactly,” He said. “I don’t know what’ll happen to me,”

Stud himself remedied his own predicament by working on the film stages themselves, which was just close enough to the movies to be somewhat satisfying. But Meryl was already an established actor. He couldn’t just give up on a dream come true like that.

But still, if it’s for his kid…

“That’s a rough one, buddy,”

“Mhm,” Meryl agreed.

Stud leaned against the wall and Meryl smoked in silence.

“Who’s the mother?” He asked.

Meryl gave him a sharp look.

“Barely know her,”

So a hasty marriage wasn’t a good option. Not that it ever really would’ve been.

“That poor girl,” Stud sighed.

Meryl gave him an even sharper look.

“I mean, I feel for both of you, I really do. I just couldn’t imagine what it’d be like to be a mom all on your own like that,”

Meryl considered this for a moment then nodded. He stamped out his cigarette.

“Why don't we head back inside,”

He patted Stud on the shoulder as they walked to the door.

The building was nearly as chilly inside as it was outside. Guests were dancing lively to remedy this. Of course, Stud was quick to join them.

Robert looked nervous, as per usual.

“I thought this was gonna be more of a ballroom type situation,” He said.

Sally flicked him on the arm.

“We look more out of place just sitting here, you know that right?” She said. “Look at how much fun they're having,”

She pointed to Stud who had gotten on stage with the band and was now showing off his tap dancing. Other guests stopped to watch him.

Robert’s eyes scanned the room. Thankfully nobody was looking at them.

“Come on-n-n,” Sally tugged on his arm.

“Alright,” He let out the breath he was holding.

They walked over to Meryl in the corner who was biting his thumb.

“How you doing there?” Robert asked.

“You wouldn’t remember this would you?” Meryl said, sounding nearly manic.

“Um,” Robert glanced at Sally.

She raised her eyebrows.

“What’s that?” She asked.

Meryl kept his eyes steady on Robert.

“Remember? When he was on me?” He smoothed his hair back frantically.

This just confused the two more. Meryl let out a frustrated noise and stormed away from the crowd towards the door.

“I’m not sure, what’s going on with him,” Robert said in an apologetic tone.

Sally was starting to get accustomed to her -now- husband’s strange friends. They came and went often it seemed.

“How about you go check on him, and I’ll stay here,” She put a hand on his shoulder.

“Well, I don’t wanna just disappear,”

She jerked her head towards the stage.

“I think they’re all entertained. If anyone asks I’ll say you needed some fresh air,”

Robert sighed. He remembered why he hated working with actors.

Once he found Meryl with his hands braced against the side of the building like he was trying to push it, he realized this wasn’t just your average diva moment.

“Hey,” Robert jogged up next to him.

Meryl side-eyed him, breathing heavily.

“I’m guessing you’re not doing great,”

Meryl took a big inhale and dragged his hands off the brick to stand to his full height. He straightened his tie.

“I cannot hear a word you are saying to me,” He said, trying to regain his composure.

“Why not?” Robert asked and immediately realized how stupid it was to ask that.

Meryl must’ve read his lips though.

“Back, with that crazed director,” He huffed out. “It’s ridiculous. Simply ridiculous,”

Robert stepped closer, cautiously. 

“The tap dancing is all it was,” Meryl added.

He knew Meryl was talking about Jay Jay but he still wasn’t sure why he was acting like that, speaking in chopped up sentences-

Oh wait.

He knew exactly why he was acting like that.

Back at the party, Stud bowed to his small audience. They clapped.

“What’s your name, son?” Sally’s father shouted.

“Stud! Stud Stampler!”

After that he got to shake hands with everyone himself. A few elderly women kissed him on the cheek too.

“He’s so tall,” A little girl whispered to her sister.

"Yeah, but look at his eyes," The sister whispered back.

Stud hadn’t felt so much like a star since he banished That Which Will No Longer Be Named.

Meryl again burst into the building, this time with Robert at his side.

“Bring me to the drinks!” He demanded.

Stud hadn’t even noticed them leave in the first place. He followed them to the bar. Meryl was already pouring himself a shot.

“Mr. Streep-,” 

Meryl grabbed him by the shoulders.

“Stampler, your performance was so excellent it put me in shock,”

Stud grinned.

“Well… You could put it that way, I guess,” Robert rubbed the back of his neck. “Hey, whatever happened with Willy?"

“Hildy hasn’t shown up yet has she?” Stud said.

“Why, yes she has,” Hildy strode in, camera in hand.

“She sure does look satisfied with herself,” Meryl mumbled.

“That's because,” She turned to address the rest of the party. “The San Dimas Cat Strangler has finally been arrested!”

Some people looked over and muttered, but nobody seemed quite as excited about this as Sally, who was clapping for her.

Stud’s face dropped. Robert glanced at him then quickly focused on his glass of bourbon instead.

“You talkin’ about Willy?” Stud leaned against the bar and looked at the ceiling.

“Caught him red handed, unfortunately,” Hildy walked up to him and patted his shoulder. “I promise it’s for the best, Stud. Think of all the cats that’ll live safe and sound now,”

He sighed through his nose. He  _ was _ happy for the cats.

“Meryl?” Stud turned to face him.

Meryl was resting his head against the bar top. He grunted in response.

“Can kids go to jail?”


End file.
